Day 55 – November 24th – A change of outlook

For a few days now, I’ve been mulling over some feeling of frustration with myself and the course. Some of them are unavoidable, but frustrations with my lack of progress in some areas of classwork need to be changed and I think I’ve worked out the solution.

I think I’ve had the idea in my head that by the end of my time here all aspects of my playing need to be ‘perfect’, and as a result am really down on myself if I don’t see improvements from lesson to lesson. The reality is that in an environment such as this I am going to improve a lot, and already have. However, music is never perfect and nor should it be. By thinking in this way, I’ve failed to see some of the changes that have already taken place, and probably played worse in class on several occasions as well.

So today I went into class trying to keep this in mind; I’ve improved a lot already, I’m working hard, and I’m also on a path for which there is never really an ‘end’ per say. Some things still weren’t amazing, but I was surprised by how much a positive outlook did improve things. Reichert still needs work, but I got through the major/minor scales plus shortened Reichert quite well at Trevor’s brisk speeds. My sequences were congratulated on being much improved since last week.

Unfortunately Altès studies still need a bit or work, with the dotted rhythms in no. 6 still giving me a bit of a headache. However, the Andersen study went well, and I now have a much clearer idea on how to fix the Altès. After focusing on expression in Moyse Little Melodic Study No. 13, the exercises instead became about dynamics, with Trevor asking me to play it fortissimo. Point taken, I still need to remember to play with a bigger dynamic range!

This evening the temperature dropped to around three degrees, and our walk back from the Old Dairy was chilly even with scarves and gloves. The sky, though, was stunning – cloudless and expansive, it twinkled with a patchwork of stars, and the Milky Way cut a streak right through the centre. It reminded me just how little of it I’ve seen living in Melbourne, and just how much there is beyond that isn’t visible to the naked eye.

Day 53 – November 22nd – Bigger picture

Today I achieved a somewhat strange feeling of contentment. It struck me that I’ve been spending quite a bit of time in recent weeks frustrated with this or that element of the course (isolation, Trevor being overbearing, social tensions). However, all the musical friends I’ve chatted with via Skype or email all express their jealousy that I’ve got this time here to just focus on flute and not worry about all the other things that life throws at us. Though everyone seemed to be keeping to themselves for the day, I embraced all the time I had, got a lot done, and throughly enjoyed it!

I noticed a small improvement on the Reichert from yesterday, and tried to take pleasure in it rather than dwelling overly much on what still needs work. A friend suggested I try some flute-free visualisation with the exercises, so I spent a bit of time on that as well.

In the afternoon, I spent some time comparing a cylindrical and conical bore piccolo (from the list of instruments we have to borrow out), as well as learning the Fantasia No. 6 in D minor by Telemann on traverso. The slow movement is coming along quite well, though I’m still not totally on top of notes like Bb, C and G# in both octaves. The D natural is very sharp on this instrument, and I’m having to adjust a lot of notes to get them in tune. As for the fast movement…I’ll get there! It’s great fun playing the traverso though, and I’m already wondering how I might be able to get my hands on one in the future.

I also spent a few hours finishing off an application for Sydney-based Ensemble Offspring’s 2015 ‘Hatched’ program – a year-long mentorship for composers and performers interested in new music. I have no idea whether I’ll get in, but am trying to use this time to apply for a whole lot of opportunities next year. I hope that at some point, either by getting into something or getting a job, I’ll have a clearer idea of which side of the world I want to be on come April! This sort of program would be ideal, as it would give me some structure and guidance while I go about my own thing (hopefully) working and playing.

Day 52 – November 21st – Back into it

After the mini-holiday yesterday, today was back into practice. If anything, I felt a bit sluggish after the rest day, and was surprised by how quickly my embouchure seemed to tire. I still need to develop a better approach to Reichert No. 2 and 4 so that I’m not always frustrated with trying to memorise them. However, the sequences were a lot better today. It seems that I play them best when thinking about the tonic of each arpeggio but then leaving my fingers to deal with the rest of it.

The sight-reading material I was prescribed on Monday isn’t easy! It may be “nineteenth-century crap” (Trevor’s words, I agree), but it’s full of turns, sequences and little catches for the unwary eye. I need to work at not stopping when I make a mistake, the ability to plough on is key!

The two Moyse melodic studies I’m preparing this week are both melodic and very lyrical. My focus with them today (of course) was playing really beautifully and expressively, but I’m making sure to pay attention to wide dynamics, intonation and the ends of phrases in aid of this. It would really make my Monday if I could play them in a way that’s expressively satisfactory!

Day 49 – November 18th – Frustration

My frustrations from yesterday’s warm-up session carried over into my practice today. While I realised this from the first few minutes, I didn’t do much about it in the morning practice sessions, and so was probably wasting my time playing things over and over again when I should have thought of a more intelligent solution.

Later in the day I managed to get back on track, and really tried to cement some of the sequences that I’ve been struggling with. I decided that the only way to get them right under pressure is to play them with the metronome at increasing speeds, and so spent a good half a hour on that. Though they were better in yesterday’s class, there is still quite a way to go.

As for Reichert Nos 2 and 4, these were the exercises I was getting particularly frustrated over. Though I have been playing them almost daily, I still can neither play the yucky keys (Ab maj, F min, Db maj, Bb min, F# maj, D#min) from memory nor at the speeds required in class. After my unproductive hour this morning, I’ve decided that I have to work on memory and speed separately, for the moment prioritising speed, or else I’m going to get nowhere.

Tomorrow we have a special class on accompanied pieces with Juliet Edwards, for which I’m playing the first two movements of the Poulenc Sonata. I’ve still got a bit of work to do with the piano score tonight, but am feeling pretty confident with the flute part. Hopefully I’ve thought about it expressively enough.

I’m currently doing one of my listening projects for the week, and have selected the CD The Ocarina is No Trombone. Very tongue-in-cheek, it’s a collection of ‘virtuoso ocarina’ arrangements of popular tunes, and is good fun to listen to! La Dona e Mobile for ocarina and accordion, a veritable orchestra of them playing Offenbach’s Can-Can, it’s a good antidote for the frustrations of earlier.

Day 39 – November 8th – Bonfire

Today was an odd one, probably because it’s got to the point where I need a bit of time off from flute practice. My morning sessions went well enough: at the end of two weeks, the Moyse finger exercises are sitting more or less comfortably at crotchet = 122, but I am still having trouble memorising Reichert No. 2 and 4 in all the keys. It doesn’t help that I still seem to get nervous about playing the exercises from memory in class, so feel like I need to find a way of pushing myself further in my practice sessions in order to make it seem easy in front of Trevor. I’ve been doing Taffanel & Gaubert No. 4 with the metronome at quite high speeds to try and achieve this.

By the afternoon, though, I was really ready for a break. I made some suggestions of a board game to Roya and Chin Ting, but neither were interested, so I took myself off on a walk down a road I hadn’t explored yet. It took me out East past several farms and many autumnal fields. It was blustery, and has got to that stage of English autumn where everything is perpetually damp. Other than a pig with very long, fluffy ears and a fields of skittish sheep, I didn’t meet a soul. It was a good walk though, there’s something delicious about the feeling of not knowing where I am, of almost being lost and not knowing what I’ll find.

In the evening, we all went to join the village bonfire night in a nearby field. The wind whipped the bonfire into great plumes of smoke and flames, showering the field with embers. Back in Australia, the whole thing would have screamed bushfire hazard, but here everything is way too soggy for any problems. I was actually rather impressed the bonfire stayed alight! The firework display was great, quite a bit bigger than I’d expected in a little village.

Being a family event, though, all was done by 7:30, and I was back in time for the Dr Who finale. Hopefully inspiration is flowing again by tomorrow.